Chayei Sarah: Give Me a Giggle & Give Me a Sign

I was shaking. It was hard to breathe. The light-filled conference room was a place to meet your children. Some parents visited their biological children, taken away by CPS. Other parents met those same children, years later, now up for adoption.

We had been waiting ten minutes, and each minute felt like an agony-filled hour.  Suddenly, a giggle from the other room filled every fiber of my being. I bolted from my seat, the laugh pulsating through my body and heart.  “That could be the laugh of one of our children!” I thought. A child we were about to meet.

E and S tumbled into the room a few minutes later, going directly to the toys lining the walls.  After them, their foster mom, social worker, and placement worker leisurely walked in.  My entire body was racked with anxiety, and my mind was blank as they said their names and I shook their hands.  The only thing I could concentrate on was E and S playing, their joy and giggles as they ran among the toys. 

Stricken by the importance of this moment, by their laughs and smiles, I stood frozen in place.  The ice thawed a little so I could make a basic sentence and I anxiously presented them with the toy we bought them, GoldieBlox. Soon they were building together, smiles big. 

GoldieBlox turned into Kate playing a game of catch with E while I colored with S.  S, confident and sweet, asked for help uncapping the markers. I complimented her color choices and she said thank you and asked to use my crayon after I was done. Behind me, Kate and E were giggling as the rubber ball rebounded against walls, ceilings, and their bodies.  Soon we were all playing a game of freeze tag.

How can you determine if this is the person who you should make a life with? Eliezer was sent to find a wife for Isaac and he asked for a sign from G!d to help pick the woman. He decided that the woman who offered to give his camels water – not just him – from the well would be the one destined for Isaac’s hand. 

That moment was fated, just like this meeting was. E and S’s giggles, kindness, and brightness won us over. There were no “signs” or absolutes in that meeting, just the potential for love. We were so lucky that their social worker said “yes” and that so many social workers before them said “no.” It was our destiny, our luck, that E and S will be our children, because they are wonderful people and I can’t wait to be their parents.

Yesterday we met E and S, the children that – G!d willing – will be our children. We met our children. Our children.