Don't worry, I'm Jewish

Kate and I constantly ask each other questions about what type of parents we'll be. Is there a family computer or do they each get a laptop. (Family computer.) Do they each get a cell phone? (Yes, a "dumb" phone.) Is texting at the table okay? (No.) What types of snacks do they get to eat? (Cut up fruits & veggies.)

But there are some questions that, despite our constant asking, will not have answers until our child arrives. What type of Jewish household will we be? What if our child doesn't want to have a conversion or a bar/bat mitzvah? What if they don't want a Hebrew name? Despite all our planning, we can never answer these questions and worries, but it doesn't keep us from asking.

Kate and I live a Jewish life, and that's part of the reason we yearn for a child. Our Shabbat table feels empty without another place setting. Challah tastes better when the small hands I love knead the dough. Purim would be more colorful with a child in costume.

We have been very clear with the adoption agency that we want a child who is comfortable being Jewish. But at the end of the day, a child consenting to live in a Jewish household is different than that child actually living in a Jewish household.

I am trusting that when we share the beauty of Jewish ritual with our children, they'll find something valuable in it too. Worrying about it will do no good.

Yet. I continue to worry about how I can make my adopted children feel welcomed in a new community that may feel very strange for them. Our children may look significantly different than us, with straight hair, darker skin, or eyesight that needs no correction. They won't know the Hebrew prayers, and won't believe us when we say that we're all still learning it too.

A friend of mine says there's no need to worry twice. You worry when it's useful, but not again. My hope is that in identifying my fears and worries, we'll be able to find solutions. We've set up a meeting with our rabbi, who will hopefully give us insight on how to introduce an adopted child into Judaism, and connect us to others who have dealt with this sort of situation before.

We're lucky to live in our Jewish community, a welcoming community full of love. I am excited to introduce our children to our wonderful, supportive community, and believe that our community will adopt our children just as much as we will.

Shabbat Shalom!